Wednesday, February 29, 2012

THINGS TO PONDER


Can you cry under water?



How important does a person have to be before they are considered

assassinated instead of just murdered?



If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?



Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?



Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for

your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?



Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried

in for eternity?



Why does a round pizza come in a square box?



What did cured ham actually have?



How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be

a good idea to put wheels on luggage?



Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like

every two hours?



If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?



If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?



Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?



Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars

to look at things on the ground?



How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss

America?



Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you

naked anyway.



If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?



I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting

clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in

the first place!



When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."



Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply

press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?



Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen

asleep yet.



My husband says I never listen to him. At least I think that's what he said.





Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.



Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in

prison?



If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with

something called labor!



Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

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