Monday, July 30, 2012

I CLEAN TOILETS BECAUSE I LOVE MY WIFE!!

Probably one of the most trite and over-used statements of all time is, "You have to work at a marriage." I heard that statement a million times when I was a young man, and to me it was simply, "blah blah blah." Then, after getting a divorce after a 23 year marriage, I began to believe that statement meant more than I thought. I didn't work at it, and it failed.

 In a few days, I will celebrate 20 years of marriage to my current and last wife. I was too dumb to make the first one work, but at least I learned a lesson. I can honestly say that I work at this one. For one thing, my wife doesn't like cleaning toilets, so every week I clean the three toilets in our house. I do the dishes, sweep the carpet, take out the trash, and that's just to mention a few of the things I do. Why do I clean toilets? Because I love my wife. When we are watching TV, we don't sit in separate chairs. We sit together. Some times holding hands, sometimes with my arm around her. Without any warning, I arrange for flowers to be sent to her at her work. This one probably gets me the most points, because she shows off to the other women. Probably the most important thing I do is to tell her that I love her many times each day. That seems to reassure her that everything is okay and puts a glow deep inside.

I was at a wedding the other day, and the pastor was telling the couple the very same thing I am telling you. I can almost guarantee they didn't hear a word he was saying. I'm real sure I know where the groom's mind was, and it wasn't on corny stuff like that. Hopefully he will learn and not make the same mistake many of us, including me, have made in the past. It is a fact that you have to work at a marriage, and one of the best source of advice is from one who failed. That is, if he learned anything.

This blog has been pretty boring to many people, and the truth is many people come to my web site to see something funny. So as not to disappoint, I'm thowing this in:

My wife was screaming at me: "Leave! Get out of this house!" she ordered.
As I was walking out the door she yelled, "I hope you die a slow and painful death!"
So I turned around and replied,"So now you want me to stay?"

Sunday, July 22, 2012

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR LIFE


>
>                     Someone has written these beautiful
>
>                     words. Must read and try to understand
> the deep meaning of
>                     it. They are like the Ten Commandments
> to follow in life,
>                     all the time.
>  
> 1. Prayer is not a "spare
> wheel" that
>                     you pull out when in trouble, but it is
> a "steering wheel"
>                     that directs the right path
> throughout.
>  
>
> 2. So why is a car's windshield so
>
>                     large and the rear view mirror so small?
> Because our past is
>                     not as important as our future. So, look
> ahead and move
>                     on.
>  
> 3. Friendship is like a book. It takes
>
>                     a few seconds to burn, but it takes
> years to write.
>
>  
> 4.
>                     All things in life
>                     are temporary. If it’s going well,
> enjoy it, that won't last
>                     long. If it’s going badly, don't
> worry, that won't last long
>                     either.
>  
> 5. Old friends are gold! New friends
>                     are diamond! If you get a diamond,
> don't forget the gold!
>                     Because to hold a diamond, you always
> need a base of
>                     gold!
>  
> 6. Often when we lose hope and think
>                     this is the end, God smiles from above
> and says, "Relax,
>                     sweetheart, it's just a bend, not
> the end!"
>
>  
> 7.
>                     When God solves
>                     your problems, you have faith in His
> abilities; when God
>                     doesn't solve your problems, He has
> faith in your
>                     abilities.
>  
> 8. A blind person asked St. Anthony,
>                     "Can there be anything worse than
> losing eye sight?" He
>                     replied, "Yes, losing your
> vision!"
>  
>
> 9. When you pray for
>                     others, God listens to you and blesses
> them; sometimes, when
>                     you are safe and happy, remember that
> someone has prayed for
>                     you.
>  
> 10. Worrying does not take away
>                     tomorrow's troubles, it takes
> away today's peace
>                     .
>  
> If you really enjoy
>                     this, please pass to others. It may
> brighten someone's
>                     day.
>
>  
>
>  
>
> .A smile - is
>   a sign of joy.
> A hug - is a sign of love.
> A laugh - is a sign of
>   happiness.
> And a friend like me?-Well that's just a sign of good
> taste!
>
> We'll be friends until I am senile .
> Then we'll be NEW friends.
>

Monday, July 16, 2012

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

THE NEW ANT and the Grasshopper, Two Versions:

 

 The ANT
AND THE

GRASSHOPPER 


This one is a little different....
 
Two Different Versions ...
 
Two Different Morals
   
OL
 D VERSION 

The 
ant works
hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. 

The 
grasshopper
thinks the 
ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. 

Come winter, the 
ant is warm
and well fed.
 

The 
grasshopper has
no food or shelter, so he 
dies out in the cold.




MORAL OF THE OLD STORY:



Be responsible for yourself!
 



MODERN
VERSION


The 
ant works hard
in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house
and laying up supplies for the winter. 

The 
grasshopper thinks theant
is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. 

Come winter, the shivering
grasshopper
calls a press conference and demands to know why the 
antshould be
allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving.. 


CBS, NBC, PBS, CNN,

and 
ABC show up to
provide pictures of the shivering 
grasshopper
next to a video of the 
ant
in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

America is stunned by the sharp contrast. 

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor 
grasshopper
is allowed to suffer so? 


Kermit the Frog
 appears
on 
Oprah
with the 
grasshopper
and everybody cries when they sing, 
'It's Not EasyBeingGreen...'

Occupy the Anthill 
stages
a demonstration in front of the
ant's
house where the news stations film the 
SEIU group singing, We shall overcome.

Then 
Rev. Jeremiah Wright 
has the group kneel down to pray for the 
grasshopper'ssake, while he damns the ants.

President Obama
 condems the ant 
and blames
 
President Bush 43, President Bush 41, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the
Pope
 
for the 
grasshopper's
plight..
 

Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid
 
exclaim in an interview with
Larry
King
 that the ant has
gotten rich off the back of
 the
grasshopper
,
and both call for an immediate tax hike on the 
ant to make him pay his fair share. 

Finally, the 
EEOC drafts
the
 Economic Equity &
Anti-Grasshopper Act

retroactive to the beginning of
the summer. 

The 
ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number 
of 
green bugs and, 
having
  nothing left to  pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by theGovernment GreenCzar
and given
  to thegrasshopper.

The story ends as we see the
grasshopper
and his free-loading
  friends finishing up the last bits of theant's food while the government house he is  in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house,
crumbles around them because the 
grasshopperdoesn't maintain it. 

The 
ant has  disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again.

The 
grasshopper  is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken
over
  by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous  and peaceful, neighborhood. 

The entire 
Nation collapses
bringing the rest
 
of the free world with it.
 

A WEDDING INVITATION

Monday, July 2, 2012

WARM WINDS OF AUTUMN

People have been asking me questions about Frank Watson of Summer Harvest for the last 8 years. Warm Winds of Autumn is the sequel to Summer Harvest and can be ordered from Amazon for Kindle. It will be available in paperback in a few weeks.  By the way, it isn't necessary to have read Summer Harvest to enjoy this one. They each stand on their own. Enjoy!

Warm Winds of Autumn

http://www.amazon.com/Warm-Winds-of-Autumn-ebook/dp/B008GF3QD4/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1341234319&sr=1-1&keywords=warm+winds+of+autumn

WARM WINDS OF AUTUMN is the story of Frank Watson, a retired farmer who lived in a small town nestled in the cornfields of rural America. He spent his life farming the land that had been in the family for over a hundred years and reared two children with Ida, his wife for over forty years.
It has been two years since the death of his wife, and Frank Watson still struggles with the loss. Every morning, he meets with his friends at the local diner to talk and to exchange gossip, but inevitably must return to his farm that remains undisturbed since his wife’s death.
Then, Pepper Ledley came into his life. She was the new waitress in town nearly half his age and offered Frank something he had never before considered, a new beginning. However, it somehow didn’t seem right to Frank. How could he have these feelings when he still loved Ida?
After the town learns that Pepper is now pregnant, Frank is alienated and shunned by all for not marrying her. Minutes before his son is born, Frank forces the local pastor to leave the funeral that he is conducting and marry the two of them. They get there just in time, and Tony is born to married parents.
Life is good for Frank and his new family. Pepper stays at home to raise their son, while Frank takes on a job remodeling the house of the town’s new female doctor, Winifred Clayborn. Rumors spread as Frank spends every day at the doc’s house. Pepper is concerned, but Frank reassures her that there is nothing to worry about.
The doctor’s grandson, Spencer, is living with her and is forced to work with Frank. He is extremely defiant at first but soon softens as he learns to appreciate the results of hard work.
Then, suddenly, Pepper is hit by a car driven by the town drunk. For days, she remains in a coma. Since Frank refuses to leave her side, the hospital staff becomes concerned about his health. They convince him to go home for the night. Just after falling asleep, he gets a call from the hospital to learn that Pepper has awakened from her coma and hasn’t long to live. He rushes to her side and has just enough time to say a few words before she dies.
Frank is devastated and doesn’t leave the house for weeks. Everyone in town is worried. In an effort to check on him, his close friends go to his house one-by-one with no success. Then one morning, Spencer slips over in an effort to help a friend. He breaks into the house and finds Frank sitting in a chair. After a long talk, he convinces Frank to return to the diner and all of his friends.
Frank buys the diner and makes Spencer the manager. Hope for the future and the love of family and friends restores meaning and purpose to Frank’s life.