Monday, August 20, 2012

LIFE IN THE FIFTIES


Were you a kid in the Fifties or so?  Everybody makes fun of our

childhood!  Comedians joke.  Grand kids snicker.  Twenty-something's

shudder and say "Eeeew!"  But was our childhood really all that bad?

Judge for yourself



In 1953 The US population was less than 150 million...  Yet you knew

more people then, and knew them better...  And that was good.



The average annual salary was under $3,000...  Yet our parents could put

some of it away for a rainy day and still live a decent life...  And

that was good.



A loaf of bread cost about 15 cents...  But it was safe for a five year

old to skate to the store and buy one...  And that was good.



Prime-time meant I. Love Lucy, Ozzie and Harriet, Gunsmoke and

Lassie...So nobody ever heard of ratings or filters...And that was good.



We didn't have air-conditioning...  So the windows stayed up and half a

dozen mothers ran outside when you fell off your bike...  And that was

good.



Your teacher was either Miss Matthews or Mrs.  Logan or Mr.Adkins...

But not Ms Becky or Mr.Dan...  And that was good.



The only hazardous material you knew about...  Was a patch of sand burrs

around the light pole at the corner...  And that was good.



You loved to climb into a fresh bed...  Because sheets were dried on the

clothesline...  And that was good.



People generally lived in the same hometown with their relatives...So

"child care" meant grandparents or aunts and uncles...  And that was

good.



Parents were respected and their rules were law....  Children did not

talk back....  and that was good.



TV was in black-and-white...  But all outdoors was in glorious

color....And that was certainly good.



Your Dad knew how to adjust everybody's carburetor...  And the Dad next

door knew how to adjust all the TV knobs...  And that was very good.



Your grandma grew snap beans in the back yard...  And chickens behind

the garage...  And that was definitely good.



And just when you were about to do something really bad...  Chances were

you'd run into your Dad's high school coach...Or the nosy old lady from

up the street...  Or your little sister's piano teacher...  Or somebody

from Church...  ALL of whom knew your parents' phone number...  And YOUR

first name...  And even THAT was good!



REMEMBER....



Send this on to someone who can still remember Nancy Drew, The Hardy

Boys, Laurel & Hardy, Abbott & Costello, Sky King, Little Lulu comics,

Brenda Starr, Howdy Doody and The Peanut Gallery, The Lone Ranger, The

Shadow Knows, Nellie Belle, Roy and Dale, Trigger and Buttermilk as well

as the sound of a reel mower on Saturday morning, and summers filled

with bike rides, playing in cowboy land, playing hide and seek and kick-

the-can and Simon Says, baseball games, amateur shows at the local

theater before the Saturday matinee, bowling and visits to the

pool...and eating Kool-Aid powder with sugar, and wax lips and bubble

gum cigars.

Monday, August 13, 2012

Which side of the fence?


If you ever wondered which side of the fence you sit on, this is a great test! 

If a Republican doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one. 
If a Democrat doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed. 

If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat. 
If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone. 

If a Republican is homosexual, he quietly leads his life. 
If a Democrat is homosexual, he demands legislated respect. 

If a Republican is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation. 
A Democrat wonders who is going to take care of him. 

If a Republican doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels. 
Democrats demand that those they don't like be shut down. 

If a Republican is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church. 
A Democrat non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced. 

If a Republican decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.
A Democrat demands that the rest of us pay for his. 

If a Republican reads this, he'll forward it so his friends can
say, ain't that the truth.

A Democrat will delete it because he's "offended". 

Well, I forwarded it.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED

  
Men Are Just Happier People --
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack...
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.  
One mood all the  time.  
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own  jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you,
He or she can still be your friend.  
Your underwear is  $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough..
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes..
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.  
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing amustache.  
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24
in 25 minutes.

Men Are Just Happier People
  NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.  IfMike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubbaand WWWildman

 
EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
 When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

 
MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.  A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

 ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
 A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING
 Ah, children.  A woman knows all about her children.  She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
 A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

 
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes.  There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!
SO, send this to the women who have a sense ofhumor and who can handle it,  and to the men who will enjoy reading it.