Wednesday, July 31, 2013

RAMBLINGS OF A RETIRED MIND

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones 
> that
> everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse.
>
> I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener.
>
>
> I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call blue
> teeth, I think.
>
> You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people
> didn't like me anyway.
>
> I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer
> cans!
>
> I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you still
> have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.'
>
> I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age, and call it
> 'Pumping Rust'.
>
> I've gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is
> falling into your drawers!
>
> When people see a cat's litter box, they always say, 'Oh, have you got a
> cat?'
>
> Just once I want to say, 'No, it's for company!'
>
> Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of 
> an
> emergency. I think you should write, 'A Good Doctor'!
>
> I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as
> they get older. Then, it dawned on me. They were cramming for their 
> finals.
>
>
>
> Ge ntle Thoughts for Today -
>
>
>
> Birds of a feather flock together . . . .and then S**t on your car.
>
>
>
> A penny saved is a government oversight.
>
>
>
> The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your
> body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.
>
>
>
> The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a
> replacement.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's 
> really
> in trouble..
>
>
>
> Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it
> spells 'Theirs...'
>
>
>
> Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your 
> age
> and start bragging about it.
>
>
>
> Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to 
> know
> 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads
> weren't paved.
>
>
>
> When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think 
> of
> Algebra.
>
>
>
> You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
>
>
>
> One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a
> nice change from being young. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old 
> is
> comfortable.
>
>
>
> Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth . . .. 
> .
> . . . AMEN
>
>

Sunday, July 28, 2013

INTERESTING FACTS

 It takes glass one million years to decompose, which means it never wears outand can be recycled an infinite amount of times!
 
          Gold is the only metal that doesn't rust, even if it's buried in the ground for thousands of years.
 
          Your tongue is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only one end
 
          If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water.
 When a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.
 
          Each year 2,000,000 smokers either quit smoking or die of tobacco-relateddiseases.
 
          Zero is the only number that cannot be represented by Roman numerals
 
          Kites were used in the American Civil War to deliver letters and newspapers.
 
          The song, Auld Lang Syne, is sung at the stroke of midnight
 in almost every English-speaking country in the world to bring in the New Year.
 
          Drinking water after eating reduces the acid in your mouth by 61 percent
 
          Peanut oil is used for cooking in submarines because it doesn't smoke unless it's heated above 450F
 
          The roar that we hear when we place a seashell next to our ear is not  the ocean, but  rather the sound of blood surging through the veins in the ear.
 
          Nine out of every 10 living things live in the ocean
 
          The banana cannot reproduce itself. It can be propagated only by the hand of man
 
          Airports at higher altitudes require a longer airstrip due to lower air density
 
          The University of Alaska spans four time zones
 
          The tooth is the only part of the human body that cannot heal itself.
 
          In ancient Greece, tossing an apple to a girl was a traditional proposal of marriage. Catching it meant she accepted.
 
          Warner Communications paid $28 million for the copyright  to the song Happy Birthday.
 
          Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
 
          A comet's tail always points away from the sun
 
          The Swine Flu vaccine in 1976 caused more death and illness than the disease it was intended to prevent
 
          Caffeine increases the power of aspirin and other painkillers, which is why it is found in some medicines.
 
          The military salute is a motion that evolved from medieval times, when knightsin armor raised their visors to reveal their identity.
 
          If you get into the bottom of a well or a tall chimney and look up, you can seestars, even in the middle of the day.
 
          When a person dies, hearing is the last sense to go. The first sense lost isSight.
 
          In ancient times strangers shook hands to show that they were unarmed.
 
          Strawberries are the only fruits whose seeds grow on the outside.
 
          Avocados have the highest calories of any fruit at 167 calories per hundredgrams
 
          The moon moves about two inches away from the Earth each year
 
          The Earth gets 100 tons heavier every day due to falling space dust
 
          Due to earth's gravity it is impossible for mountains to be higher than 15,000meters
 
          Mickey Mouse is known as "Topolino" in Italy
 
          Soldiers do not march in step when going across bridges because they could set up a vibration which could be sufficient to knock the bridge down
 
          Everything weighs one percent less at the equator
 
          For every extra kilogram carried on a space flight, 530 kg
 of excess fuel are needed at lift-off
 
          The letter J does not appear anywhere on the periodic table of the elements.
 
 
 
 
          And last but not least:
 
          This is called 'money bags'. So send this on to 5 and money will arrive
 
          Superstitious or not, I passed this along because it is interesting information.