Wednesday, December 31, 2014

SUDDENLY IT IS WINTER!

You know. . . time has a way of moving quickly
and catching you unaware of the passing years.
It seems just yesterday that I was young,
just married and embarking on my new life with my mate.
And yet in a way, it seems like eons ago,
and I wonder where all the years went.

I know that I lived them all...
 
And I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams...
But, here it is... the winter of my life and it catches me by surprise....
How did I get here so fast?
Where did the years go and where did my youth go? 
I remember well...
seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people
were years away from me and that winter was so far off
that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like... 

But, here it is...
my friends are retired and getting grey...
they move slower and I see an older person now.
Some are in better and some worse shape than me...
but, I see the great change... 
Not like the ones that I remember who were young and vibrant...
but, like me, their age is beginning to show and we are now those older folks
that we used to see and never thought we'd be.  
Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! 
And taking a nap is not a treat anymore... it's mandatory! 
Cause if I don't on my own free will... I just fall asleep where I sit! 
And so... 
now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared
for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability
to go and do things that I wish I had done but never did!! 
But, at least I know, that though the winter has come, and I'm not sure how long it will last...
this I know, that when it's over... its over...
Yes, I have regrets. There are things I wish I hadn't done...
things I should have done, but indeed, there are many things I'm happy to have done. 
It's all in a lifetime...
So, if you're not in your winter yet...
let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think.
So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life please do it quickly! 
Don't put things off too long!!
Life goes by quickly.  So, do what you can today,
as you can never be sure whether this is your winter or not! 
You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life... so,
live for today and say all the things that you want your loved ones to remember...
and hope that they appreciate and love you for all the things
that you have done for them in all the years past!!
"Life is a gift to you.
The way you live your life is your gift to those who come after.
Make it a fantastic one."
LIVE IT WELL!  
ENJOY TODAY!  
DO SOMETHING FUN! 
BE HAPPY! BE THANKFUL!
                                      HAVE A GREAT DAY!                                               
Remember "It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold or silver." 

Friday, December 19, 2014

A Cup of Tea made with cold water ~

 One day my Grandma was out, and my Grandpa was in charge of me.  I was maybe 2 1/2 years old.  Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift, and it was one of my favorite toys.  Grandpa was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him a little cup of 'tea', which was just water.  After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Grandma came home. My Grandpa made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' Grandma waited, and sure enough, here I came down the hall with a cup of tea for Grandpa, and she watched him drink it up. Then she said, (as only a grandma would know), "'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?"    

Friday, November 7, 2014

THROUGH THESE EYES



Through These Eyes is my 11th novel and has officially been released. It is now available at Amazon.



Buried in the cornfields of rural America, the sleepy little town of Augusta is rocked by the brutal murder of Jimmy Pierson. In a dimly lit apartment several blocks away, a young blind woman falls to her knees in horror as a vision appears to her. It’s a shocking vision of a young man beaten to death with a baseball bat. Was it a dream or did she witness the actual murder?

http://www.amazon.com/Through-These-Eyes-Scott-Fields-ebook/dp/B00P89GCSM/ref=sr_1_3?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1415189793&sr=1-3&keywords=through+these+eyes

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

My Latest Release





Harlan Steelman owned most of the town of Bear Creek and found his way in and out of every backroom, barroom, and bedroom. When his rival from high school days, John Watson, returns to Bear Creek to live, Harlan vows to ruin John's life and take Jessie, his wife, away from him. When Harlan is found murdered, John Watson is taken into custody, and the trial of the century for the little town of Bear Creek gets under way.


A KILLING IN A SMALL TOWN takes, yet, another look at the contrast between good and evil. We see the sweet innocence of youth as Travis Watson discovers life in a small town, and the immorality and corruption of Harlan Steelman as he bullies his way through life taking whatever he wants.

Friday, October 10, 2014

THE SOUTH

Tennessee
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
Texas
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."
"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage.'

 
Y'all kin say whut y'all want 'about the South, but y'all never heard o' nobody retirin' an' movin' North.
 
 

Monday, October 6, 2014

ANOTHER FUNNY ONE

PARAPROSDOKIANS ... are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected, frequently humorous. Winston Churchill and Jack Benny are two of the many well known people who loved paraprodokians and often used them. Here are examples:
 
 
 
 1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
 
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.  But it's still on my list.
 
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
 
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
 
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
 
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
 
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.  Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
 
8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,'  then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
 
9. To steal ideas from  one person is plagiarism.  To steal from many is research.
 
10.  Buses stop in bus stations.  Trains stop in train stations.  On my desk is a work station.
 
11. I thought I wanted a career.  Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
 
12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
 
13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
 
14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
 
15. Behind every successful man is his  woman.  Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
 
16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
 
17. You do not need a parachute to skydive.  You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
 
18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
 
19.  There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so  they can't get away.
 
20. I used to be indecisive.  Now I'm not so sure.
 
21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
 
22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
 
23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
 
24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
 
25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
 
26. Where there's a will, there are relatives.
 

And mine  is.........
I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it
s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.
 
 

Thursday, September 25, 2014

CATHOLIC EYE OPENER

Charity Hospital run by the Sisters of Charity in New Orleans , along with the Upjohn company developed the plasma system in the 1930's that saved so many lives in WWII, Korea , Vietnam and in the middle east now. 
During the Civil War most of the nurses were nuns. 
   
EVEN IF YOU ARE NOT CATHOLIC, THIS IS EYE OPENING.. 
   
When the Catholic Church was founded, there were no hospitals. Today, one out of five people in this country receive their medical care at a Catholic hospital. 
   
When the Catholic Church was founded, there were no schools. Today, the Catholic Church teaches 3 million students a day, in its more than 250 Catholic Colleges and Universities, in its more than 1200 Catholic High Schools and its more than 5000 Catholic grade schools. 
   
Every day, the Catholic Church feeds, clothes, shelters and educates more people than any other organization in the world. 
   
The new Obama Health Mandate could end all this and the tax payers would have to make up the loss. 
   
Also, all Catholic adoption services would come to an end; a human disaster. 
   
There are more than 77 million Catholics in this country. It takes an estimated 50 million Catholic votes to elect a president. 
   
I am asking all of you to go to the polls in 2014 and be united in replacing all Senators and Reps with someone who will respect the Catholic Church, all Christians, and all Religions with perhaps the exception of Islam. 
   
Mr. President, you said, "The USA is not a Christian Nation". You are wrong - we are a Christian Nation founded on Judeo-Christian values allowing all religions in America to Worship & Practice Freely. Something Islam will never do. 
   
Oh, by the way, on MUSLIM HERITAGE IN America ... 
   
Have you ever been to a Muslim hospital, heard a Muslim orchestra, 
seen a Muslim band march in a parade, know of a Muslim charity, 
ever seen Muslims shaking hands with a Muslim Girl Scout, or ever seen a Muslim Candy Striper volunteering in a hospital? 
   
Have you ever seen a Muslim do much of anything that contributes positively to the American way of life? 
   

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

IRS AUDIT

The IRS suspected a fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his deckhand and sent an agent to investigate him. 
IRS AUDITOR: "I need to know how much you pay your employees
". 
Boat Owner:  "Well, there's  Clarence, my deckhand, he's been with me for 3 years and I pay him $1,000 a week plus room and board.  Then there's the mentally challenged guy.  He works 18 hours a day and does 90% of the work.  He makes about $10 a week, pays his own room and board and I buy him a bottle of rum and a dozen Budweiser's every Saturday night so he can cope with life and occasionally he gets to sleep with my wife". 
IRS AUDITOR: "That's the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one". 
Boat Owner: "That would be me. What do you want to know"?
 
 

Thursday, September 11, 2014

THE TRAIN

 
At birth we boarded the train and met our parents, and we believe they will always travel on our side.
 
  However, at some station our parents will step down from the train, leaving us on this journey alone.
 
As time goes by, other people will board the train; and they will be significant - i.e., our siblings, friends, children, and even the love of our life.
 
  Many will step down and leave a permanent vacuum.
 
  Others will go so unnoticed that we don't realize that they vacated their seats!
 
  This train ride will be full of joy, sorrow, fantasy, expectations, hellos, goodbyes, and farewells.
 
Success consists of having a good relationship with all passengers . . . requiring that we give the best of ourselves.
 
The mystery to everyone is:
 
We do not know at which station we ourselves will step down.
 
So, we must live in the best way - love, forgive, and offer the best of who we are.
 
It is important to do this because when the time comes for us to step down and leave our seat empty -
 
- we should leave behind beautiful memories for those who will continue to travel on the train of life.
 
I wish you a joyful journey for the coming year on the train of life.
 
  Gather success and give lots of love.
 
Lastly,
 
I thank you for being one of the passengers on my train!
 

Thursday, September 4, 2014

MY FAVORITE JOKE

A husband and wife were invited to a swanky costume party.  The Mrs. Got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone.
 
He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went. The wife, after sleeping soundly for about an hour, awakened without pain and, as it was still early, decided to go the party.
 
Since her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
 
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice woman he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there.
 
His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his   current partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new babe that had just arrived. She let him go as far as he wished, naturally, since he was her husband.
 
Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed.
 
So off they went to one of the cars and had a quickie.
 

Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away, went home, put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.
 
She was sitting up reading when he came in, and she asked what kind of a time he had.  He said: "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
 
"Did you dance much ?"
 
"I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to...."
 

Thursday, August 28, 2014

CHECKING OUT AT THE GROCERY STORE

Checking  out at the grocery store, the young cashier suggested to the much older lady that she should bring her own grocery bags, because plastic bags are not good for the environment.  
The woman apologized to the young girl and explained, "We didn't have this 'green thing' back in my earlier days."
The young clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations."
The older lady said that she was right -- our generation didn't have the "green thing" in its day. The older lady went on to explain:
Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. 
But we didn't have the "green thing" back in our day.
Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags that we reused for numerous things. Most memorable besides household garbage bags was the use of brown paper bags  as book covers for our school books. This was to ensure that public property (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribbling's. Then we were able to personalize our books on the brown paper bags.
But, too bad we didn't do the  "green thing" back then.
We walked up stairs because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.
But she was right. We didn't have the "green thing" in our day.
Back then we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy-gobbling machine burning up 220 volts. Wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early  days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.
But that young lady is right; we didn't have the "green thing" back in our day.
Back then we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief(remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana. In the kitchen we blended and stirred  by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up oldnewspapers to cushion it, not styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn  gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.
But she's right; we didn't have the "green thing" back then.
We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blade in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.
But we didn't have the "green thing" back then.
Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service in the family's $45,000 SUV or van, which cost what a whole house did before the"green  thing." We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 23,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.
But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the "green thing" back then?
Please forward this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from a smart ass young person.
We don't like being old in the first place,  it doesn't take much to piss us off. especially from a tattooed, multiple pierced smartass who can't make change without the cash register telling them how much.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

The Back Nine Holes

 
AND THEN IT IS WINTER
 
 
You know ... time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years. It seems just yesterday that I was young, just married and embarking on my new life with my mate. Yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all the years went. I know that I lived them all. I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams.
 
 
But, here it is... the back nine of my life and it catches me by surprise...How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go and where did my youth go?
 
 
I remember well seeing older people through the years and thinking that those older people were years away from me and that I was only on the first hole and the back nine was so far off that I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it  would be like.
 
 
But, here it is...my friends are retired and getting gray...they move slower and I see an older person now. Some are in better and some worse shape than me...but, I see the great change...Not like the ones that I remember who were young and vibrant...but, like me, their age is beginning to show and we are now those older folks that we used to see and never thought we'd become.
 
 
Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! And taking a nap is not a treat anymore... it's mandatory! Cause if I don't on my own free will... I just fall asleep where I sit!
 
 
And so...now I enter into this new season of my  life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability to go and do things that I wish I had done but never did!! But, at least I know, that though I’m on the back nine, and I'm not sure how long it will last...this I know, that when it's over on this earth...it's over. A new adventure will begin! Yes, I have regrets. There are things I wish I hadn't done...things I should have done, but indeed, there are many things I'm happy to have done. It's all in a lifetime.
 
 
So, if you're not on the back nine yet...let  me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think. So, whatever you would like to accomplish in your life please do it quickly! Don't put things off too long!! Life goes by quickly. So, do what you can today, as you can never be sure whether you’re on the back nine or not!
 
 
You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life...so, live for today and say all the things that you want your loved ones to remember...and hope that they appreciate and love you for all the things that you have done for them in all the  years past!!
 
 
"Life" is a gift to you. The way you live your life is your gift to those who come after. Make it a fantastic one. LIVE IT WELL! ENJOY TODAY! DO SOMETHING FUN! BE HAPPY ! HAVE A GREAT DAY Remember "It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver. LIVE HAPPY IN 2014!
 
 
LASTLY, CONSIDER THIS:
~Your kids are becoming you......but your grandchildren are perfect!
~Going out is good.. Coming home is better!
~You forget names.... But it's OK because some people forgot they even knew you!!!
~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything like golf.
~The things you used to care to do, you aren't as interested in anymore, but you really do care that you aren't as interested.
~You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV 'ON' than in bed. It's called "pre-sleep".
~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch..
~You tend to use more 4 letter words ... "what?"..."when?"... ???
~You notice everything  they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!
~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.
~Everybody whispers.
~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet.... 2 of which you will never wear.
 
~~~But Old is good in some things: Old Songs, Old movies, and best of all, OLD FRIENDS!!
 
 
Stay well, "OLD FRIEND!" Send this on to other "Old Friends!" and let them laugh in AGREEMENT!!! It's Not What You Gather, But What You Scatter That Tells What Kind Of Life You Have Lived.
 
 
TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN, YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE, SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS.