Thursday, March 27, 2014

WHERE CAN I SHOP NOW?

 



When I was ready to check out and pay for my groceries the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me."

Making a mental note so I could complain to my local MP about this running amok security rubbish, I did just as she had instructed.

After the shrieking and hysterical remarks finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to how I should position my credit card.

Nonetheless, I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.

They need to make their instructions a little clearer for seniors. Man I hate this getting older stuff.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

SCRABBLE

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER 
 
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER 
 
DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
 
THE EYES: 
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
 
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
 
THE MORSE CODE:
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
 
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
 
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
 
ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
 
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters: 
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT 
 
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters: 
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
 
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE
 
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT QUEER SHAKE
 
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
 
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters: 
WOMAN HITLER
 
 
AND FINALLY….
FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
 
 
*PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA
When you rearrange the letters:
"An Arab Backed Imposter”

Monday, March 24, 2014

A LETTER FROM GOD

A letter from the Post Office... this is absolutely the best!!
We don't know who replied, but there is a beautiful soul working in the dead letter department who understands
LOVE..........................


 

Our 14-year-old dog Abbey died last month.

The day after she passed away my 4-year-old daughter Meredith was
crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey.

She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to
heaven, God would recognize her.

I told her that I thought that we could, so she dictated these words:

Dear God,
Will you please take care of my dog?
Abbey died yesterday and is with you in heaven.
I miss her very much.

I 'm happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick.

I hope you will play with her.
She likes to swim and play with balls.

I am sending a picture of her so when you see her you will know that she is my dog.

I really miss her.
Love, Meredith


We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey & Meredith,
addressed it to God/Heaven.

We put our return address on it.

Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she
said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven.
That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office.

A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet.
I told her that I thought He had.

Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch
addressed, 'To Meredith' in an unfamiliar hand.

Meredith opened it.
Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, 'When a Pet Dies.'

Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God
in its opened envelope.

On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note:


Dear Meredith,

Abbey arrived safely in heaven. Having the picture was a big help and I
recognized her right away.

Abbey isn't sick anymore.
Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart.

Abbey loved being your dog.

Since we don't need our bodies in heaven, I don't have any pockets to
keep your picture in so I'm sending it back to you in this little book for
you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by.

Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you
write it and sending it to me.

What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you.

I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much.

By the way, I'm easy to find.
I am wherever there is love.

Love,
God
 

Friday, March 21, 2014

THE MANSFIELD KILLINGS



It was worse two-week killing spree in Ohio’s history.

On the night of July 21, 1948, Robert Daniels and John

West entered John and Nolena Niebel’s house with loaded

guns.


They forced the family including the Niebel’s 21-year-old

daughter, Phyllis, into their car and drove them to a cornfield

just off Fleming Falls Road in Mansfield.


The two men instructed the Niebels to remove all of their

clothing, and then Robert Daniels shot each of them in the

head.


The brutal murders caught national attention in the media,

but the killing spree didn’t stop there. Three more innocent

people would lose their lives at the hands of Daniels and

West in the coming week.


Scott Fields tirelessly researched the killings, the capture

and trial of Daniels and even interviewed a surviving

member of the Niebel family to weave this tragic story into

a must-read novel bringing the reader back to those dark

days in the summer of 1948.


What led to these brutal killings, and why was the Niebel

family singled-out to be savagely murdered? It has been

more than sixty years since the tragedy, and, yet, this

question still remains unanswered. The killing spree is not

only remembered to this day, but is an important and dark

part of Mansfield lore.

http://www.amazon.com/Mansfield-Killings-Novel-Based-Events/dp/0982993137/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1395413616&sr=1-1&keywords=the+mansfield+killings


Thursday, March 20, 2014

ALL ABOUT TAXES!!!

Tax his land,
Tax his bed,
Tax the table,
At which he's fed.

Tax his tractor,
Tax his mule,
Teach him taxes
Are the rule.

Tax his work,
Tax his pay,
He works for
peanuts anyway!

Tax his cow,
Tax his goat,
Tax his pants,
Tax his coat.

Tax his ties,
Tax his shirt,
Tax his work,
Tax his dirt.

Tax his tobacco,
Tax his drink,
Tax him if he
Tries to think.

Tax his cigars,
Tax his beers,
If he cries
Tax his tears.

Tax his car,
Tax his gas,
Find other ways
To tax his ass.

Tax all he has
Then let him know
That you won't be done
Till he has no dough.

When he screams and hollers;
Then tax him some more,
Tax him till
He's good and sore.

Then tax his coffin,
Tax his grave,
Tax the sod in
Which he's laid...

Put these words
Upon his tomb,
'Taxes drove me
to my doom...'

When he's gone,
Do not relax,
Its time to apply:
The inheritance tax.
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax (currently 44.75 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service Charge Tax
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
Sales Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Nonrecurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax


STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, & our nation was the most prosperous in the world.
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.

What in the heck happened? Can you spell 'politicians?'





Monday, March 17, 2014

LAST DAYS OF SUMMER


Last Days Of Summer -
It was the last days of innocence; the last days before a place called Pearl Harbor ushered in the horrors of war. Addie Watson was living the American dream in the small town of Millersburg, Iowa. Known for her sometimes bizarre and destructive inventions, Addie was warned, repeatedly, that she was forbidden to invent even one more device, and, yet, it was that one more device that led her to a toe-to-toe meeting with Adolph Hitler.

Publisher: Whiskey Creek Books
ISBN : 978-1-61160-079-7
Available in paperback and e book from the publisher
Also through KindleAmazon and Nook barnes and noble

Friday, March 14, 2014

LESSONS FOR THE DAY


 
1 - First Important Lesson - 
Cleaning Lady.


During my second month of college, 
our professor

Gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious 
student

And had breezed through the 
questions until I read

The last one:


"What is the 
first name of the woman who cleans the school?"

Surely this was 
some kind of joke. I had seen the

Cleaning woman several 
times. She was tall,

Dark-haired and in her 50's, but how would 
I know her name?



I handed in my paper, leaving the last 
question

Blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if


The last question would count toward our quiz 
grade.



"Absolutely, " said the professor.. "In your 
careers,

You will meet many people.  All are significant.. 
They

Deserve your attention and care, even if all you do


Is smile and say

"hello.."



I've never 
forgotten that lesson.. I also learned her

Name was Dorothy.



2. - Second 
Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain



One night, at 
11:30 p.m., an older African American

Woman was standing on the 
side of an Alabama highway

Trying to endure a lashing rain 
storm. Her car had

Broken down and she desperately needed a 
ride.

Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.


A young white man stopped to help her, 
generally

Unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960's. The 
man

Took her to safety, helped her get 
assistance

and

Put her into a 
taxicab.



She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote 
down his

Address and thanked him. Seven days went by and 
a

Knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a

Giant 
console color TV was delivered to his home. A

Special note was 
attached.



It read:

"Thank you so much for 
assisting me on the highway

The other night. The rain drenched 
not only my

Clothes, but also my spirits.  Then you came 
along.

Because of you, I was able to make it to my 
dying

Husband's' bedside just before he passed away... 
God

Bless you for helping me and unselfishly 
serving

Others."



Sincerely,

Mrs. Nat 
King Cole.



3 - Third 
Important Lesson - Always remember those

Who serve.


In the days when an ice cream 
sundae cost much less,

A 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee 
shop and

Sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in


Front of him.



"How much is an ice cream 
sundae?" he asked.

"Fifty cents," replied the 
waitress.



The little boy pulled his hand out of his 
pocket and

Studied the coins in it.



"Well, how 
much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.



By now 
more people were waiting for a table and

the

Waitress 
was growing impatient..



"Thirty-five cents," she 
brusquely replied.



The little boy again counted his 
coins.



"I'll have the plain ice cream," he 
said.



The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill 
on

The table and walked away The boy finished the 
ice

Cream, paid the cashier and left..  When the 
waitress

Came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the


Table.  There, placed neatly beside the empty 
dish,

Were two nickels and five pennies..



You 
see,  he couldn't  have the sundae, because he had

To 
have enough left to leave her a tip.



4 - Fourth 
Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.



In ancient 
times, a King had a boulder placed on a

Roadway.  Then he 
hid himself and watched to see if

Anyone would remove the huge 
rock.  Some of the

King's' wealthiest merchants and 
courtiers came by

And simply walked around it..  Many 
loudly blamed the

King for not keeping the roads clear, but 
none did

Anything about getting the stone out of the 
way.



Then a peasant came along carrying a load of


Vegetables.  Upon approaching the boulder, 
the

peasant laid down his burden and tried to 
move

the

stone to the side of the road.  After much 
pushing

and straining, he finally succeeded. After the


peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed


purse lying in the road where the boulder had

been. The purse 
contained many gold coins and a note

from the King indicating 
that the gold was for the

person who removed the boulder from 
the roadway.  The

peasant learned what many of us never 
understand!



Every obstacle presents an opportunity to 
improve

our condition.



5 - Fifth 
Important Lesson - Giving When it

Counts...



Many years ago, when I 
worked as a volunteer at a

hospital, I got to know a little 
girl named Liz who

was suffering from a rare & serious 
disease.  Her only

chance of recovery appeared to be a 
blood

transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who 
had

miraculously survived the same disease and had


developed the antibodies needed to combat 
the

illness.  The doctor explained the situation to 
her

little brother, and asked the little boy if he 
would

be willing to give his blood to his sister.




I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking 
a

deep breath and

saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will 
save

her."  As the transfusion progressed, he lay in 
bed

next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing


the color returning to her cheek. Then his face

grew 
pale and his smile faded.



He looked up at the doctor 
and asked with a

trembling voice, "Will I start to die right 
away".



Being young, the little boy had misunderstood 
the

doctor; he thought he was going to have to give 
his

sister all of his blood in order to save her.