Wednesday, October 15, 2014

My Latest Release





Harlan Steelman owned most of the town of Bear Creek and found his way in and out of every backroom, barroom, and bedroom. When his rival from high school days, John Watson, returns to Bear Creek to live, Harlan vows to ruin John's life and take Jessie, his wife, away from him. When Harlan is found murdered, John Watson is taken into custody, and the trial of the century for the little town of Bear Creek gets under way.


A KILLING IN A SMALL TOWN takes, yet, another look at the contrast between good and evil. We see the sweet innocence of youth as Travis Watson discovers life in a small town, and the immorality and corruption of Harlan Steelman as he bullies his way through life taking whatever he wants.

Friday, October 10, 2014

THE SOUTH

Tennessee
A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
Texas
The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."
"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage.'

 
Y'all kin say whut y'all want 'about the South, but y'all never heard o' nobody retirin' an' movin' North.
 
 

Monday, October 6, 2014

ANOTHER FUNNY ONE

PARAPROSDOKIANS ... are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected, frequently humorous. Winston Churchill and Jack Benny are two of the many well known people who loved paraprodokians and often used them. Here are examples:
 
 
 
 1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
 
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you.  But it's still on my list.
 
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
 
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
 
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
 
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
 
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.  Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
 
8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,'  then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
 
9. To steal ideas from  one person is plagiarism.  To steal from many is research.
 
10.  Buses stop in bus stations.  Trains stop in train stations.  On my desk is a work station.
 
11. I thought I wanted a career.  Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
 
12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
 
13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
 
14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
 
15. Behind every successful man is his  woman.  Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
 
16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
 
17. You do not need a parachute to skydive.  You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
 
18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
 
19.  There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so  they can't get away.
 
20. I used to be indecisive.  Now I'm not so sure.
 
21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
 
22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
 
23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
 
24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
 
25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
 
26. Where there's a will, there are relatives.
 

And mine  is.........
I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it
s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.