Wednesday, January 27, 2016

ON BEING WISER

As we grow older, and hence wiser, we slowly realize that wearing a $300.00 or $30.00 watch; they both tell the same time.
 
Whether we carry a $300.00 or $30.00 wallet/hand bag; the amount of money inside is the same. 
 
Whether we drink a bottle of $300.00 or $10 wine; the hangover is the same.
 
Whether the house we live in is 300 or 3000 sq. ft.; loneliness is the same.
 
You will realize, your true inner happiness does not come from the material things of this world.
 
Whether you fly first or economy class, if the plane goes down; you go down with it.
 
Therefore...I hope you realize, when you have mates, buddies and old friends, brothers and sisters, who you chat with, laugh with, talk with, have sing songs with, talk about north-south-east-west or heaven & earth; that is true happiness!
 
Five Undeniable Facts of Life :

1. Don't educate your children to be rich.
    Educate them to be Happy.
    So when they grow up they will know,
    The value of things not the price.

2. Best awarded words anywhere ...
   "Eat your food as your medicines.  Otherwise you have to eat medicines as your food."

3. The one who loves you will never leave you, because even if there are 100 reasons to give up, he or she will find one reason to hold on.

4. There is a big difference between a human being and being human; only a few really understand it.

5. You are loved when you are born;  you will be loved when you die;  in between, you have to manage!
BUT:
  If you just want to Walk Fast, Walk Alone!
  But, if you want to Walk Far, Walk Together!

   Six Best Doctors in the World
    1. Sunlight
    2. Rest
    3. Exercise
    4. Diet    

    5. Self Confidence and
    6. Friends


    Maintain them in all stages of Life and enjoy healthy life.

Sunday, January 24, 2016

THE TRAIN

At birth we boarded the train and met our parents,
and we believe they will always travel on our side.

 
However, at some station our parents will step down from the train, leaving us on this journey alone.

 
As time goes by, other people will board the train;
and they will be significant, i.e. our siblings, friends, children, and even the love of your life.

 
Many will step down and leave a permanent vacuum.

 
Others will go so unnoticed that we don't realize
they vacated their seats.

 
This train ride will be full of joy, sorrow, fantasy, expectations, hellos, goodbyes, and farewells.

 
Success consists of having a good relationship
with all passengers requiring that we give the best of ourselves.

 
The mystery to everyone is:  We do not know at which station we ourselves will step down.

 
So, we must live in the best way, love, forgive, and offer the best of who we are.

 
It is important to do this because when the time comes for us to step down and leave our seat empty we should leave behind beautiful memories for those who will continue to travel on the train of life.

 
I wish you a joyful journey on the train of life.
Reap success and give lots of love. More importantly, thank God for the journey.

 
Lastly, I thank you for being one of the passengers on my train.

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

GIVING UP GOLF

A man was walking down the street when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some booze with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.

"Are you NUTS?" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"

"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a hot shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded.  "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?

The man replied, "That's okay.  It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking and golf."

Friday, January 15, 2016

ADVICE FROM AN OLD FARMER

Advice from An Old Farmer
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
Words that soak into your ears are whispered… not yelled.
Meanness don’t jes’ happen overnight.
Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.
Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.
You cannot unsay a cruel word.
Every path has a few puddles.
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
The best sermons are lived, not preached.
Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.
Don’t judge folks by their relatives.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Live a good, honorable life… Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.
Don ‘t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t bothering you none.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.
Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.
If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around..
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you


Monday, January 11, 2016

QUESTIONS TO HAUNT YOU!!!

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
 
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
 
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
 
What disease did cured ham actually have?
 
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
 
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby"
When babies wake up like every two hours?
 
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
 
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
 
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway¦
 
You cannot legalize morality. It's internal not external. You either have it or you don’t.
 
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
 
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp,which no decent human being would eat?
 
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares,why is there a stupid song about him?
 
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?  They're both dogs!
 
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
 
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
 
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
 
Why, Why, Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are  nearly dead?
 
Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?
 
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
 
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
 
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
 
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
 
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
 
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
 
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
 
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
 
Why do people keep running over a thread a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up , examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
 
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
 
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
 
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
 
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
 
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
 
And my FAVORITE.........
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Now--Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you. ~~~

Sunday, January 10, 2016

ON HIS DEATH BED

The last wishes of Alexander the Great........
 On his death bed, Alexander summoned his army generals and
told them his three ultimate wishes:
 
1.    The best doctors should carry his coffin ..
 
2.    The wealth he had accumulated (money, gold, precious stones)
should be scattered along the procession to the cemetery ....
 
3.     His hands should be let loose, so they hang outside the coffin for
all to see !!

One of his generals who was surprised by these unusual requests

asked Alexander to explain.
 
Here is what Alexander the Great had to say:
 
1.   “ I want the best doctors to carry my coffin to demonstrate that
in the face of death, even the best doctors in the world have no
power to heal ."
 
2.   "I want the road to be covered with my treasure so that
everybody sees that material wealth acquired on earth, will stay
on earth.."
 
3.  “ I want my hands to swing in the wind, so that people
understand that we come to this world empty handed and we
leave this world empty handed after the most precious treasure
of all is exhausted, and that is: TIME.”
 
We do not take to our grave any material wealth. TIME is our mostprecious treasure because it is LIMITED. We can produce more
wealth, but we cannot produce more time.
 
When we give someone our time, we actually give a portion of our life
that we will never take back . Our time is our life !
 
The best present that you can give to your family and friends is your
TIME.  M
ay God grant YOU plenty of TIME, to share with all.
 

Friday, January 8, 2016

BLONDE JOKES

Don't give up ! You'll find a new one here
A blonde & her husband are lying in bed 
listening to the next door neighbour’s dog.. 
It has been in the backyard barking for hours & hours. 
The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, 
"I've had enough of this". 
She goes downstairs. 
 
The blonde finally comes back up to bed 
and her husband says, "The dog is still barking, 
what have you been doing?" 
 
The blonde says, 
"I put the dog in our backyard, 
let's see how THEY like it! 
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 
 
Two Blondes With Hammers... 
 
Lynn & Judy were doing some carpenter work 
on a Habitat for Humanity House.  
Lynn was nailing down house siding, 
would reach into her nail 
pouch, pull out a nail & either toss it 
over her shoulder or nail it in. 
 
Judy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, '
Why are you throwing those nails away?' 
Lynn explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, 
about half of them have the head on the wrong end 
& I throw them away.' 
Judy got completely upset & yelled, 
'You moron! Those nails aren't defective! 
They're for the other side of the house!' 
 
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 
 
Did you hear about the two blondes 
who froze to death in a drive-in movie? 
 
They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.' 
 
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 

You might have to think twice about this one. 


A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor asked her. 
 
'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied. 
 
'What?' sputtered the doctor. 'You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?' 
 
'No, silly' the blonde said. 'First I put the gun to my chest, & 
then I thought, 'I just paid $6,000.00 for these implants... 
 
I'm not shooting myself in the chest.' 
'So then?' asked the doctor. 
'Then I put the gun in my mouth, & I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth straightened I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.' 
 
'So then?' 
'Then I put the gun to my ear, & I thought: 'This is going to make a 
loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the 
trigger. 
 
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ 
 
A blonde was driving home after a game & got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun... He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, & all the dents would pop out. 
 
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands & knees & started blowing into her tailpipe.. Nothing happened.. So she blew a little harder, & still nothing happened. 
 
Her blonde roommate saw her & asked, 'What are you doing?' The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. 
The roommate rolled her eyes & said, 'Uh, like hello! 
You need to roll up the windows first.'
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
  
A blonde was shopping at Target & 
came across a shiny silver thermos. 
She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up & took 
it to the clerk to ask what it was. 
 
The clerk said, 'Why, that's a thermos..... 
It keeps hot things hot,  And cold things cold.' 
 
'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing.....I'm going to buy it!' 
So she bought the thermos & took it to work the next day. 
 
Her boss saw it on her desk. 
'What's that,' he asked? 
 
'Why, that's a thermos..... It keeps hot things hot & cold things 
cold,' she replied.. 
 
Her boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?' 
 
The blond replied......
'Two popsicles & some coffee.' 
 
+++++++++++++ 

AND LAST 
AND PROBABLY LEAST 
 
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. 
 
Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?' 
 
The blonde replies, 
'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that 
my mother had passed away.' 
 
The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 
'Why don't you go home for the 
day? Take the day off to relax & rest.' 
 
'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. 
I need to keep my mind off it &
I have the best chance of doing that here.' 
 
The boss agrees & allows the blonde to work as usual. 
A couple of hours pass & the boss decides to check on the blonde. 
He looks out from his office & sees the blonde crying hysterically... 
 
'What's so bad now? Are you gonna be okay?' he asks. 
 
'No!' exclaims the blonde. 
'I just received a horrible call from my 
sister. Her mother died, too!'