Monday, August 1, 2016

AS I AGE

AS I AGE, I REALIZE THAT:
  
1. I talk to myself because sometimes I need expert advice.

2. Sometimes I roll my eyes out loud.

3. I don't need anger management.  I need people to stop pissing me 
off.

4. My people skills are just fine. It's my tolerance of idiots that 
needs work.

5. The biggest lie I tell myself is, "I don't need to write that down, 
I'll remember it."

6. When I was a child I thought nap time was punishment.  Now it's 
like a mini vacation.

7. Even duct tape can't fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound!

8. Wouldn't it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for ten minutes; come out wrinkle-free and three sizes smaller.
  
9. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would've put them on my 
knees.

10. When the kids text me "plz" which is shorter than please,  I text 
back "no" which is shorter than "yes".

11. At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and 
remembering why

No comments:

Post a Comment