Sunday, October 2, 2016

paraprosdokian

paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence is unexpected and oft times very humorous.
 
·      If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they'd eventually find me attractive.
 
·     I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom, until they're flashing behind you. 

·      
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water. 

·     
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. 

·      
I'm great at multi-tasking -- I  can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once .   

·      
If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. 

·     
Take my advice — I'm not using it. 

·     
My wife and I were happy for twenty years; then we met . 

·     
Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they're at home when you wish they were. 

·     
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. 

·     
Ever stop to think and forget to start again? 

·     
Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking. 

·      
He who laughs last thinks slowest. 

·     
Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly? 

·      
Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type. 

·     
I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one. 

·     
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 

·      
I was going to wear my camouflage shirt today, but I couldn't find it. 

·    
  If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 

·  
    Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep. 

·   
   If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie? 

·     
Money is the root of all wealth. 

·  
    No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

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