Friday, October 7, 2016

Ruminations from a Geezer



·       My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds. Only 15 to go.

·        Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons and tomatoes.  Really, just one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce.  And cheese.   OK, it was a pizza.   I ate a pizza.

·        How to prepare tofu:   1. Throw it in the trash.   2. Grill some meat.

·        I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.

·        I don't mean to brag but...I finished my 14-day diet in three hours and 20 minutes.

·        A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.

·        Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

·        Senility has been a smooth transition for me. 

·        Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero outside they closed school?  Me neither.

·        I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented...I forgot where I was going with this.

·        I love being over 70. I learn something new every day...and forget five others.

·        A thief broke into my house last night...he started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.

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